- 04:20:08: Just took my 173rd mugshot! http://www.dailymugshot.com/main/show/24652
- 08:01:15: I don't care how good you think you are, never try to catch an iron if you drop it.
- 09:01:08: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! This is my favorite holiday!! What are everyone's plans tonight??
- 15:01:11: Why is it when a woman sleeps w/lots of men she's called a slut? A man goes out and does the same, he's called "gay"!
- 18:01:49: $100.00 off new DirecTV acct 4 BOTH of us! Call 877-4-100-EACH & give them acct number 26071932 (Michael Parisi).
- 18:42:04: Hey local peeps: Is there a mailbox or an open post office near me that will STILL postmark TODAY?!?!
- 20:26:21: I'm on my way to a Halloween party in a black cloak carrying a bottle of roofies. I'll be the Grim Raper.
- 22:02:20: "Single and ready to mingle!" just has a better ring to it than "Loner with a Boner".
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