HAHAHA RT @ItsAHardG Tom & Katie are divorcing.This is the most talked about separation since John Travolta's ass cheeks during a massage.

LOL RT @treyeverett: RT @hipstermermaid: Instagram is down. It's like what I'm eating doesn't even matter.

Check out my YouTube videos, including the 2 game shows I was on: 'Pyramid' & 'Friend or Foe?' http://www.youtube.com/MichaelParisi

Check out my YouTube videos, including the 2 game shows I was on: 'Pyramid' & 'Friend or Foe?' http://www.youtube.com/MichaelParisi

So cool! Guy swims with polar bear! I wanna cuddle with it!! http://youtu.be/g7rZTZBOrqQ

Humor Hotlines: Call the Dial-In Doctor at 704-319-7257

Joey Lawrence is a Chippendale now?! WOAH!!

Check out my YouTube videos, including the 2 game shows I was on: 'Pyramid' & 'Friend or Foe?' http://www.youtube.com/MichaelParisi

Check out my YouTube videos, including the 2 game shows I was on: 'Pyramid' & 'Friend or Foe?' http://www.youtube.com/MichaelParisi

Sorry Bing! Good idea, but I don't WANT my friends knowing what I search for on the internet!! ;-)

Check out my YouTube videos, including the 2 game shows I was on: 'Pyramid' & 'Friend or Foe?' http://www.youtube.com/MichaelParisi

I popped my Charlie's cherry tonight. It was great!! :-)

"I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona." -Arrested Development

Thanks to Hulu Plus, I finally finished Awake. My mind just got totally fucked with! Such a shame NBC cancelled it! :-(

Today would've been my 7 year anniversary, to the minute, at Warner Bros Studios. I wish I was still there. :-(

Let me refer u to ING Direct for a new acct. U get a $25 bonus, I get $10! FREE MONEY!! Contact me for info.

How the hell did a gigantic caterpillar get in my house?!?! At least the cats are having fun!

Quiznos is advertising 'new all-natural chicken'. Yuck! WTF did they have before?!?!

OMFG!! I think that FUautocorrect is quite possibly the best thing ever!!