Wednesday, September 30, 2009

From Twitter 09-29-2009





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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

From Twitter 09-28-2009





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Monday, September 28, 2009

From Twitter 09-27-2009





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Sunday, September 27, 2009

From Twitter 09-26-2009





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Saturday, September 26, 2009

From Twitter 09-25-2009



  • 06:31:01: I'd be pissed!! RT @BuzzEdition: RT @KeithDriscoll: Judge Orders Google To Deactivate User's Gmail Account http://bit.ly/5Puug
  • 07:56:36: Hehe RT @seanoconnz: Alcoholism doesn't sound as weighty when you call alcohol, "No Feelings Punch".
  • 07:57:43: Happy MMS Day, iPhone people!! Join the rest of us!! LOL
  • 08:01:34: Here's a bit of advice for you: Advi
  • 08:03:15: RT @teeco71: RT @afishe: Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends. Czech Proverb
  • 08:16:15: RT @reneritchie: AT&T iPhone MMS Arrives Today — Here’s a Walkthrough! http://bit.ly/PMF6R #iphone (via @theiphoneblog)
  • 08:20:49: ROFL about hearing the iPhone's new MMS feature referred to as an 'anticipointment'!! Hehe
  • 08:22:08: RT @chrispirillo:  +  = 
  • 10:10:25: Chloe, my GPS, pronounces "Ave" (short for "Avenue") like "Ah-vey", as in "Ave Maria"! LOL
  • 12:05:09: #FollowFriday Two great causes for Marriage Equality! @MarriageForNone and @NOH8campaign Follow and help them trend! #MARRIAGEFORNONE #NOH8
  • 15:01:03: You've never been truly drunk until you've had to use a barstool as a walker to get home!
  • 19:11:55: Wow... These streets look so different in sunlight! LOL
  • 22:02:14: Q: What's the difference between the Bible and gay porn?
    A: One is fairytales for adults, the other is adult tales for fairies!
  • 23:30:11: Just took my 139th mugshot! http://www.dailymugshot.com/main/show/24652


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Friday, September 25, 2009

From Twitter 09-24-2009



  • 03:30:02: Up waaaay too late, but had a great Twitter convo via DM. Gosh I love this site!!
  • 04:25:30: From the @Starbucks app. Why is the Hawaiian bagel is only available in the continental US?! LOL http://twitpic.com/ixgs8
  • 04:32:05: I have a twinge on the left side of my abdomen... Not pain, just achy... What would that be?
  • 04:43:39: RT @nintendo247: New Super Mario Bros. Wii Confirmed For November Release: Mark the 15th down in your diary... http://bit.ly/7YXAq
  • 04:45:52: RT @HomoPolitico: For the first time, a vaccine has helped prevent HIV transmission. http://bit.ly/2aytzZ
  • 04:48:10: ROFL!!! RT @RobLives4Love: Photo: Matthew McConaughey Cannot Stand Up By Himself http://tumblr.com/xmg38ipu7
  • 04:55:51: Makes me want an iPhone! RT @ruhanirabin: Bionic Eye: Augmented iPhone Awesomeness in App Store http://cli.gs/mpyaj
  • 08:05:50: George Michael claimed that he drove into a truck after swerving to avoid a man on a scooter. He's blaming a Careless Vespa!
  • 09:16:28: Ad: Get iVillage newsletters, including the "Pregnancy & Newborn" edition! http://bit.ly/h4o0M
  • 12:15:20: Sponsored Tweets has officially launched!! Don't miss out - sign up with my sponsor (@spontwts) http://bit.ly/1OSQHu
  • 13:47:36: Take note!! RT @wikiHow: It's National Punctuation Day! Pass it on: How to Use English Punctuation Correctly http://bit.ly/s4bkT
  • 13:49:11: LOL RT @sunsetoverdose: http://twitpic.com/iz7p1 - this is the scariest thing i have ever seen. lol'ing.
  • 13:57:47: RT @PandaExpressInc: The City of Los Angeles declares Panda Express Day on Friday, Sept. 25. Celebrate with a FREE... http://bit.ly/NuHnQ
  • 14:00:40: RT @chokeychicken: iPhone users getting MMS tomorrow. Which is gr8, bcuz it's 2009. In related news, I finally got rid of my Erol's web svc.
  • 14:25:45: #FollowFriday a day early: @TattierPub Because he puts out!! LOL
  • 14:37:24: If u sign up w/Sponsored Tweets, pls use http://bit.ly/4FZdjD 2 sign up instead of the 1 in my othr tweet. I get credit!
  • 15:02:07: Tip: When going past a speed camera, flash your lights twice and watch the driver in front hit their brakes and think they've been caught.
  • 15:51:39: OMG!! 40125!! ROFLMFAO!!! #SYTYCD
  • 16:04:33: THANK YOU, @BRIENBEAR!!! :-D RT via DM @spontwts: Tweeter @BrienBear just signed up to @spontwts with you as the referrer!
  • 16:07:36: Nintendo party with swimming at my place tonight, anyone?? After @Survivor_Samoa on NY time, of course!!
  • 16:12:51: Candlelight vigil! Hehehe http://mikeyp.us/eyept
  • 17:18:54: Grrrr headache!!
  • 17:20:45: It's @Survivor_Samoa time!!
  • 17:29:43: Russell change the game of @Survivor_Samoa -- I'd actually be afraid of him!! #S19
  • 21:51:02: 10 minutes from now: A joke in VERY poor taste. I don't advise reading it!
  • 22:02:02: Incest. Putting the 'relation' into 'relationship'.


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Thursday, September 24, 2009

From Twitter 09-23-2009



  • 00:07:07: Just took my 137th mugshot! http://www.dailymugshot.com/main/show/24652
  • 00:11:41: http://mikeyp.us/sngvo - NO SMORKING, and whatever you do, NO TOUTING!! #engrish
  • 00:31:19: Can anyone help with Python, the Google Apps Engine, and some API I'm trying to get to work....
  • 01:17:22: I just discovered the joys of .htaccess files!! I'm gonna have some fun tomorrow messing up my domain!! :-D
  • 01:37:11: On webhosts that *say* they don't provide .htaccess support, can I upload my own .htaccess file and make it work? Is there a way around it??
  • 02:07:35: OMG I forgot I had this! I've named her Susan! I wonder if this gives @Wipeout any ideas! LOL http://mikeyp.us/Susan
  • 02:49:26: RT @smartnhealthy: Looks interesting Dust storm sweeps southern Australia: A massive dust storm swept through part.. http://bit.ly/2qFomc
  • 02:54:20: RT @RKDO: am i the only person that double spaces on a lap top and expects a period?
  • 02:57:59: RT @GayMarriage Gay marriage gone wrong creates Catch-22: Ontario, like same-sex-marriage-granting MA, requires one s.. http://bit.ly/3hbe1t
  • 03:05:13: RT @AhhPhotography: To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow.
  • 03:09:42: Smart Cars just look funny! If you drive one, I WILL laugh at you!!
  • 06:30:16: Ad: iVillage parenting & pregnancy message boards is a great resource for tips, support, and advice! http://bit.ly/1blA92
  • 08:01:27: How stupid did I feel when I finally found out that Hungary wasn't in Ethiopia?!?!
  • 11:53:37: RT @tdhurst: Why are ppl scared of causing drama? Life would be boring without it.
  • 12:00:04: RT @KimB When #life gives you lemons, make orange juice & leave the world wondering how the hell you did it.
  • 12:01:43: RT @mashable: WARNING: Twitter Worm Spreading via Direct Messages - http://bit.ly/Z2ROc
  • 12:02:06: ROFL!! RT @daxholt: Dear Brangelina, I'm willing to move to Africa for a short time if that helps my adoption chances at all. love, Dax
  • 12:08:53: LOL RT @Goostersd You fell outta the gay tree, hitting every gay branch on the way down. And you landed on a gay guy... and you did him.
  • 15:01:16: Who says you can't buy family?! All the celebrity lesbians do it!! (Great line from "George Lopez"!!)
  • 17:50:26: Why does Twitter & Facebook have to spill over into real life?!
  • 18:31:56: I seriously need to cut back on the number of people I'm following. Please tell me why I should keep you... :-)
  • 21:51:04: Heads up! Tasteless & probably offensive joke coming up in 10 minutes. Don't read it...
  • 22:02:48: Q: What did the necrophiliac say to the pedophile?
    A: "After you!"
  • 23:14:46: Oh no! Just saw the elimination! Who's going to wear FAR too few clothes this season on #DWtS?!?!


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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

From Twitter 09-22-2009



  • 00:05:17: Just took my 136th mugshot! http://www.dailymugshot.com/main/show/24652
  • 00:44:36: RT via FB: Evan C. Paul: Quote o' the Day (to me): U need a shirt 2wear 2Pride that says "U R why there is homophobia."
  • 01:07:46: RT @shoutem: A Couple Little Nifty Facebook And Twitter Username Tweaks http://bit.ly/3wKTnt #twitter #facebook
  • 01:15:57: I thought this was a joke but it's kinda cool! RT @jeanlucr: 9 Scientifically Proven Ways to Get Retweeted on Twitter http://j.mp/CZhYQ
  • 01:32:03: RT @Twitter_Tips: r/t Is your favorite app ready for the Twitpocalypse? Happens Tomorrow: http://j.mp/1amVL1 --Share: http://bit.ly/Q2HY7
  • 01:49:10: Can any of my followers help? RT @Fijitrader I need a great 42" hi def TV. Want good performance & high contrast ratio. Any recommendations?
  • 01:54:52: 17% of Twitter users have tweeted from the toilet!! ROFL RT @mashable: How We Tweet: In a Car, From a Toilet - http://bit.ly/GwDlp
  • 02:04:38: RT @Twitter_Tips: How businesses *should* use Twitter: http://j.mp/2ET2zh --Share: http://bit.ly/16elDn
  • 07:00:33: I was able to find my high school sweetheart on MyLife.com today - we haven't talked in years! #ad http://bit.ly/Ju7z6
  • 08:01:15: I don't understand why women want to be equal when they could be better. What a lack of ambition! That's why men are better! (Just a joke!)
  • 11:27:17: RT @freeverse: More Skee-Ball! Let's see tweet #50 get a free Skee-Ball code for the iPhone right now! RT @freeverse: Skee-Ball Please!
  • 11:35:45: RT @ruhanirabin: Official Gmail push comes to iPhone, Windows Mobile http://bit.ly/qXjfT
  • 11:37:08: RT @filmfreak75: RT @freeverse: Skee-Ball Please!
  • 11:45:56: Wow!!! RT @ajpreyes: Mass. postal worker admits to stealing 30,000 DVDs http://bit.ly/eVlHt
  • 14:21:08: Jenna Elfman flicking her nipples on #AccidentallyOnPurpose was quite possibly the funniest thing I've seen on network TV!!!
  • 15:01:19: The police sent me a photo of my car speeding. So I sent them a picture of my checkbook!
  • 15:06:55: RT @cashcycle Is giving away Flip Videos and an iPhone for participating in the #utweet contest! Join us! http://tnyurl.info/itweet
  • 15:32:09: Hey @Survivor_Samoa! Great show so far!! When are you gonna cast me?! ;-) #CastMichaelOnSurvivor
  • 17:05:12: I'm free, I'm free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • 17:15:15: Ad: Win one of 4 Flip Videos or an iPhone 3G for participating in the #utweet contest! Contest ends 9/24 at 2pm EST. http://bit.ly/Wte4o
  • 21:51:03: Really dirty joke coming in 10 minutes! Don't read it... You've been warned...
  • 22:02:58: Q: What do gynecologists and pizza delivery boys have in common?
    A: They can both smell it but can't eat it...
  • 23:48:22: If you've friended me on FB and my bad stolen jokes upset you, please let me know and I'll make it so you never have to see them in FB.


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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

From Twitter 09-21-2009



  • 19:15:03: Craving a blue state!!
  • 19:30:34: Just heard #Eastwick advertised BY ABC as "one of the 10 best new shows of the season". Does that mean there are 9 new shows better?!?!
  • 19:35:58: I like Cheryl, but Tom has to go to prove a point! LOL #DWtS
  • 19:38:50: Just curious, do Former House Majority Leaders get Secret Service too? And why do they call it "Secret Service" if everyone knows about it?!
  • 19:53:19: So far, having seen only the male stars perform tonight, I think Donny Osmond and Louie Vito will do very well this year! #DWtS
  • 20:00:28: Jeff Probst: 'The Amazing Race' should pull itself from Emmy category http://mikeyp.us/vdhwk
  • 20:04:47: Lythgoe: 'Dance's fifth-season cast lacked charisma, best didn't win http://mikeyp.us/pzfqh #SYTYCD
  • 20:20:53: I hate how these opportunities fall into others' laps & not mine! http://mikeyp.us/ywapm Marisa Calihan talks about her 'Survivor' ouster
  • 21:07:58: RT @tdhurst: AT&T Visual Voicemail hasn't worked in a week? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
  • 21:09:44: RT @MarriageForNone: Just because I disapprove of something does not mean that other people's rights should be taken away. #MFN #M4N
  • 21:13:07: Passed my 6,000th tweet. Surprise, surprise, it was about Jeff Probst of @Survivor_Samoa!! LOL (CAST ME!!) #CastMeOnSurvivor
  • 21:27:48: TMI ALERT: Why is potty time for me "hold me" time for @BayleeDutchess?! It's cute, but sometimes I need my hands free! LOL
  • 21:32:17: My new favorite drag queen names: Herma Frodite, Jenna Teelia, & Paige Turner... What are ur favs?
  • 22:03:13: What is it about poking a fire with a stick that makes you feel so manly?!?!
  • 23:05:12: AMAZING!! Bicycle Ballet -- VERY "Cirque du Soliel"!! http://mikeyp.us/afzqb


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Monday, September 21, 2009

From Twitter 09-20-2009



  • 00:02:04: Grrr! Cricket Wireless (@cricketnation) doesn't work with @ChaCha (aka @242242). That might be my deciding factor...
  • 01:35:15: Hehehe RT @buntsign: Never tweet anything you wouldn't want your mother to RT.
  • 01:48:54: RT @qikipedia: Andorra is the only country in the world with a free postal service.
  • 01:54:27: Hehe RT @leolz: Bum sign: "Will take verbal abuse for spare change."
  • 08:01:03: FIGHT APATHY!! Or don't... Whatever...
  • 12:04:34: Cricket @cricketnation JUST added SMS support 4 Twitter but no Facebook/@ChaCha. What ELSE don't they support? This will affect my decision!
  • 12:27:08: RT @teeco71: RT @spiritjump: do u know some1 w/cancer who could use a little spirit lifting? Read about how we can help http://bit.ly/1xml6O
  • 12:29:13: So true!!! RT @DavidBlue: Why does my body always need to catch up on sleep on days where there is so much fun stuff to do?
  • 12:42:07: RT @Twitter_Tips: Why Twitter's New Retweet Plan is NOT a good thing: http://j.mp/7Zwbk --Share: http://bit.ly/6Z2PG
  • 15:01:03: Try saying "Whale Oil Beef Hooked" without sounding like an Irish man swearing!!
  • 16:51:39: Just took my 134th mugshot! http://www.dailymugshot.com/main/show/24652
  • 20:57:49: Video 1 w/Jim on Backup! - Vids from last night's "Hearts in Motion" Charity Drag Event, w/ @jime60647, & Dildo Song! http://mikeyp.us/yygdm
  • 21:00:16: Video 2: Jim's Big Solo! - Vids from last night's "Hearts in Motion" Charity Drag Event, w/ @jime60647, & Dildo Song! http://mikeyp.us/tqxrp
  • 21:02:48: Video 3: DILDO SONG w/Green Drag Queen! - From last night's "Hearts in Motion" Charity Event-no @jime60647 in this 1. http://mikeyp.us/mlotk
  • 22:02:13: Don't ever mix up Viagra and laxitives! It does shit for you in bed!!
  • 22:08:12: OMG SOOOO bored with TV today!! If this were next week, The Amazing Race would be on!! #TAR15
  • 22:24:19: Yes I am! :-) RT @yaarik: hey dude I only found out now that your pic is for #NOH8. That's cool man. I assume your here: http://tr.im/zg4l
  • 22:40:58: The symbolism of this #NOH8 photo makes it my favorite!! http://mikeyp.us/rvxds @DJChiChiLaRue @NOH8campaign @bouska


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Sunday, September 20, 2009

From Twitter 09-19-2009



  • 00:19:50: Hehe It's this Sunday!! RT @mashable: HOW TO: Celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day - http://bit.ly/3cyYJs
  • 08:01:13: I don't know why it took the Germans so long to find Anne Frank! I was just there, and there are signs for her house everywhere!
  • 11:09:04: RT @DWTusen: Any iPhone users out there have MMS working on their phones yet? AT&T is supposedly randomly turning MMS on leading up to 9/25.
  • 12:12:44: Gained 8 followers overnight!!
  • 12:19:05: Adding 1 espresso shot to the @Starbucks banana chocolate smoothie actually brings out the chocolate flavor!!
  • 12:19:24: #nott Adding 1 espresso shot to the Starbucks banana chocolate smoothie actually brings out the chocolate flavor!!
  • 12:34:24: Just heard a radio commercial for a car with a "partial zero emission engine". WTF?!
  • 12:36:58: Not a sound from the upstairs neighbors yet today. Must still be exhausted from training dancing elephants until 3am!!
  • 14:41:29: Just took my 133rd mugshot! http://www.dailymugshot.com/main/show/24652
  • 15:01:27: "Yo Patrick, I know u just died & Ima let u finish, but Michael Jackson's death was the best one this year" ~Kanye West
  • 17:08:23: Comma Bitch! http://mikeyp.us/lpzcw
  • 18:01:34: Want $100.00 off a new DirecTV account?
    Call 1-877-4-100-EACH (1-877-410-0322) and give them account number 26071932 - Michael Parisi.
  • 18:32:00: http://mikeyp.us/nwvro - Well, it's just a straw, but yes, it's real!!
  • 18:54:47: Sell your old electronics! (Old iPhones are going for A LOT right now!!) I've made hundreds so far! http://mikeyp.us/recycle
  • 19:43:17: I LOVE @hootsuite!! I call for a @hootsuite iPhone/iPod Touch app!! You agree?? :-)
  • 22:02:21: The girl next door has beautiful soft skin. I'm wearing it right now.


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Saturday, September 19, 2009

From Twitter 09-18-2009



  • 08:02:33: An Englishman, a Scotsman, & an Irishman walk into a...h9gj0fk0kfkkmn273fbf111......SHEESH KANYE LET GO OF THE KEYBOARD!
  • 12:05:14: #FollowFriday Two great causes for Marriage Equality! @MarriageForNone and @NOH8campaign Follow and help them trend! #MARRIAGEFORNONE #NOH8
  • 14:57:53: OMG This traffic makes me homesick!!
  • 15:01:09: Hillary Clinton, if you read this joke can you let me know what Bill thinks, please?
  • 17:19:43: http://mikeyp.us/zmynd - My first pic with my new Samsung phone!! Such embarrassing hair!! :-/
  • 19:20:45: Just took my 132nd mugshot! http://www.dailymugshot.com/main/show/24652
  • 21:56:56: Dammit!! I now have upstairs neighbors who have obviously never lived upstairs before! It was good while it lasted!!
  • 22:02:31: Is it just me, or would anyone else be shaken up if they came down with Parkinsons?
  • 23:23:18: Don't like my bad, tasteless, stolen jokes??? Unfollow me!! Me and 1,300 others like them...
  • 23:33:40: Really?! REALLY?!?!


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Friday, September 18, 2009

From Twitter 09-17-2009





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Thursday, September 17, 2009

From Twitter 09-16-2009



  • 00:49:37: So. Tired. Must. Sleep. Now!!
  • 02:10:23: OMG!! Just saw a Wendy's commercial that talks about eating a Frosty with fries! I thought I was the only one!!
  • 02:24:10: Are they EVER going to explain how he met your mother?! Sheesh!!!
  • 08:01:11: Have you heard the lyrics to Stevie Wonder's new song? .:.: .::..:...::: .:::...::..: :::..:::: :...:::..::: :...:::.:::..
  • 09:36:41: Grrrr! I forgot to record The Early Show with the #BB11 cast and winner!! Anyone wanna YouTube their segments for me?? :-D
  • 09:43:06: That Wendy's talk and your replies really make me crave it! When can I start getting lunch?! LOL
  • 09:49:15: Whoopsie!! LOL RT @JayOatway: Awkward Moments in Facebook: the "like" button -- http://bit.ly/VfGAK
  • 13:22:08: Just took my 130th mugshot! http://www.dailymugshot.com/main/show/24652
  • 14:46:31: Why does @RealGilbert's tweets NEVER make sense... I'm about to unfollow... :-(
  • 15:01:15: I'm never travelling on @VirginAtlantic! I don't want a plane that doesn't go all the way!! (Hehehe)
  • 15:06:27: iPhone users are the REAL heroes!! LOL http://mikeyp.us/epxgu
  • 17:20:18: RT @productioneer: The name "Häagen Dazs" is a marketing gimmick meant to appear foreign & exotic. The co. originated in the Bronx.
  • 17:49:21: #SYTYCD in Phoenix tonight!!
  • 18:01:14: Let me refer u to ING Direct for a savings or checking account. U get a $25 bonus, I get $10! Give me ur name & email so I can invite you!
  • 18:21:27: Are you a Mother Pheasant Plucker or a Fig Plucker?? "Dangerous" tongue twister here: http://mikeyp.us/vmchl
  • 18:47:13: http://mikeyp.us/asesq - OMG!! There's NO WAY!!!
  • 18:50:36: http://mikeyp.us/jhtwj - Some sort of ritual???
  • 18:55:11: http://mikeyp.us/ywgyy - Totally cute!!
  • 19:01:00: http://mikeyp.us/hjuzn - This is gonna end badly for one of them!!
  • 19:05:25: http://mikeyp.us/pxnho - Wet and slobbery but still totally cute!
  • 19:10:25: http://mikeyp.us/icfbr - A hot dog! Well...a hot puppy!! So cute!!
  • 19:15:58: http://mikeyp.us/mudxl - Gotta be a fake, but cute anyway!!
  • 19:25:30: The corridor outside my apartment smells like Lysol, pool water, and chocolate!! Not sure how I feel about that!!
  • 20:34:13: http://twitpic.com/i0i3v - Don't piss off Jill Wagner!!
  • 21:04:30: Anyone out there good with Python? I need help with the Google Short Links API...
  • 21:09:12: Don't forget #Survivor starting tomorrow night!! @Survivor_Samoa is gonna be good!! (and cast me!!) #S19
  • 21:12:23: RT @farahato: Tough guy: "I'm gonna mop the floor w/ur face." Me: "U'll be sorry." TG: "Oh? Why?" Me: "U won't be able to get the corners."
  • 21:21:32: LOL RT @nathaneide: Never trust a big butt and a smile
  • 21:26:15: RT @hobronto: Microsoft: If I switch 2 using Bing will u promise that I never have 2 see another TV ad for it again? I'm lying, but so are u
  • 22:03:39: Did you know that after you inhale chloroform, your anus hurts when you wake up?!?! (Just a joke, people!!)


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Wednesday, September 16, 2009

From Twitter 09-15-2009



  • 00:44:04: OMG!! Karin saw me on ABC news too!! Hehehe
  • 00:58:54: The #BB11 finale is tonight!! Who do you think will win??
  • 04:21:01: It's true! I really was on ABC news!! @MrProducer sent me the link!! Check out the video here: http://mikeyp.us/onABC
  • 09:01:40: Police have arrested The Big Bad Wolf and charged him with the attempted murder of three of their most junior officers.
  • 15:01:50: I can walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol.
  • 17:00:50: Just took my 129th mugshot! http://www.dailymugshot.com/main/show/24652
  • 18:48:34: South Park's "Fishsticks" episode is even funnier since the VMAs!!
  • 18:50:10: Dinner...then the #BB11 finale!! Thank God @Survivor_Samoa starts on Thursday!!
  • 18:51:57: #nott Dinner...then the #BB11 finale!! Thank God #Survivor #Samoa starts on Thursday!!
  • 20:47:20: Why is every South Park episode today on Comedy Central the "Fishsticks" episode regardless of what the program guide says?!
  • 21:11:11: Is is just me, or is The Jay Leno Show just another Tonight Show?!?! Really, what was the point?!?!
  • 22:40:09: My GF keeps going down on me when I'm just about to climax! I wouldn't mind, but by the time I pump her back up, I'm not in the mood...


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Tuesday, September 15, 2009

From Twitter 09-14-2009



  • 05:37:30: RT @deaf258: RT @workplacecoach: Minds, like parachutes, only work when open.
  • 05:42:53: OMG!!! RT @HEALTHAPALOOZA: Depression Cuts Cancer Survival by as much as 39 percent, New Report Suggests. http://www.healthapalooza.com
  • 05:44:12: RT @JohnStamos: matt and trey had it so right with South Park's FISHSTICKS episode on how DENSE you are - KANYE, grow some class- FISH DICK.
  • 05:56:31: RT @twittor_groups: RT @SoisStefto When will twitter gives us the opportunity to create twitter-friends-groups?
  • 06:19:20: A haboob is a dust storm, people!! My tweet must've looked really bad!! :-/
  • 06:32:44: Apparently Chloe DID know the way to Santa Fe, and she wanted to make sure I knew too!!  LOL
  • 06:45:48: http://mikeyp.us/ubelc - Cool!! @MrProducer saw me on the ABC 10 o'clock news!!
  • 06:54:12: Haha Yeah, and Chima "dropped" her microphone!! LOL :-P #BB11 RT @hobronto: KANYE WAS FRAMED.
  • 06:55:44: Hehehe RT @emmyrossum: Heard a funny quote this morning: "eyebrows are the nipples of the face"
  • 06:57:45: My dinner with Karin last night made me really miss WB all over again!! :-(
  • 07:21:20: RT @SocialMediaComm: Facebook Fact: Did you know the average user has 120 facebook friends?
  • 07:24:06: RT @DWTusen: "If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it!" - Jonathan Winters #quote (via @ChristianTeenBz)
  • 07:29:46: RT @_stevewoods: Life is like a taxi, the meter keeps ticking whether u go somewhere or ur just standing still - Erickso (via @RevRunWisdom)
  • 08:01:25: I slept like a baby last night... Woke up three times screaming and shit my pants twice.
  • 15:00:23: Ginger beer is a lot like ginger women. They both taste good but you wouldn't want to be caught dead with one in a bar! (Just a joke!)
  • 22:21:04: The only difference between rape and seduction is good salesmanship.


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Monday, September 14, 2009

From Twitter 09-13-2009



  • 01:17:21: http://mikeyp.us/fwcmo - Disturbing still from zbowling's Mugshow! I hope he's okay!!
  • 01:22:48: Just took my 128th mugshot! http://www.dailymugshot.com/main/show/24652
  • 04:42:11: Wow! Chino Bandito is soooo good! I had orange chicken inside a quesadilla!! Odd mix but so good!!
  • 05:08:20: Finally caught up with #Glee! I streamed it on my #Nintendo #Wii using PlayOn.tv!
  • 05:37:56: RT @GayMarriage: if it's good for the goose… 2010 california protection of marriage ...: this is brilliant. http://tinyurl.com/qyhkz5
  • 06:05:13: . @AzizHayat HOMOPHOBIA is a social cancer!! What are you afraid of and/or trying to hide? Maybe overcompensating?!
  • 06:06:43: . @AzizHayat Why do you care what other men do? You're spending an awful lot of time thinking about sex with animals! And ROBOT sex?! WTF?!
  • 06:19:14: RT @AzizHayat: what next, support for people who screw animals, robots? It's unnatural, wrong, stupid, and we don't need men being fairies..
  • 08:00:26: Statistically, 13 out of 13 Triskaidekaphobics will be scared of this joke.
  • 10:57:05: What's the big deal?! #Survivor has started with 20 before!! In Palau they picked tribes and the last 2 went home!!
  • 11:08:07: Off to Chino Bandito & Tootsie with Drew, Jim, Forrest, Mikey, and Bri(E/A)n!!
  • 12:46:30: RT @bear54: If marriage is owned by religion, what legal rights does your religion give me? #LGBT #Catholic #Mormon #Evangelical #Methodist?
  • 13:36:37: Why does Chloe think I'm in Santa Fe?!
  • 13:58:06: OMG, a haboob just tried to push me off the road!!
  • 15:00:21: A girl in my art class asked me to paint her in the nude. She stormed out before I could even take off my boxers!
  • 18:55:05: Had the best damn ribs ever, and then saw Tim Burton's "9". It was good!!
  • 21:36:01: I totally just drove the wrong way on a one way street...TWICE!! Oy!!!
  • 22:00:30: They say that 56% of all women carry condoms. That must mean the other 44% carry babies!


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Sunday, September 13, 2009

From Twitter 09-12-2009



  • 00:24:59: Just took my 127th mugshot! http://www.dailymugshot.com/main/show/24652
  • 01:22:50: Hahaha RT @al3x: If it's "the city that never sleeps", how can you wake up in it? Get your story straight, Sinatra.
  • 01:31:33: The beginning of the end for Skype?? RT @TheEngTeacher: #Skype Shuts Down Extras and Its Developer Program http://viigo.im/0RzX
  • 01:44:53: RT @freshlydoug: Why restrict the apology to just Alan Turing when thousands were medically tortured and imprisoned? http://ow.ly/p4oc
  • 01:46:56: RT @growlf: RT @AMYA7 are we all going to switch over to #Survivor next Thursday to chat or tweet? - I will be here. Watching #tar as well!
  • 01:50:24: My room is as cold as a meat locker...and I LOVE it!!!
  • 01:53:22: RT @chokeychicken: At Chick-Fil-A I say thank u a lot just 2 hear them say "my pleasure." Like hiring a hooker 2 serve me a chic sandwich.
  • 02:00:06: RT @twittor_groups: RT @blogbloke New Trojan Hides Its Brain in Google Groups and Twitter http://bit.ly/12auVL
  • 02:09:01: Mormon speaks out AGAINST Prop 8, only 2 have his mic shut off! Watch the vid! I wish more were like him! http://bit.ly/3Z9VmD via @crazywtf
  • 07:29:17: LOL RT @Twitter_Tips: RT @unmarketing I think we'd all drive a little nicer if our Twitter name was on the side of our car.
  • 07:50:32: Now we're movin' the right direction!! RT @gaymarriagewatc: CA: Man starts ballot initiative to ban divorce: http://tinyurl.com/kuru57
  • 07:58:55: People will start 2 think differently about taking rights away when it starts to affect THEM! RT @gaymarriagewatc: http://tinyurl.com/kuru57
  • 08:00:16: I find it strange that people say Jesus used to be a carpenter. I've got all their records, and I can't hear him singing in any of them!
  • 08:00:21: RT @EqualityAmerica: Bigot FAQ's:Mormons make up only 2% of CA population & they contributed 47% of the $21 mil raised for Prop 8 #LGBT
  • 08:04:03: What right of yours will you trade for it?! RT @AzizHayat: prop 8 [will be] on ballot in ca again. I hope it stays the[same] NO GAY MARRIAGE
  • 08:21:24: LOVE THIS!! RT @jaysays: New blog post: LGBT Lessons for Straight People: Caster Semenya http://bit.ly/s9fxK
  • 08:24:14: Gender is a "complex choreography of hormones&brain development tht sometimes takes the road less traveled." RT @jaysays http://bit.ly/s9fxK
  • 09:02:00: I'd be pissed if I had to pay AGAIN!! RT @theiphoneblog: Updating to iPhone 3.1? Here’s What You Need! http://bit.ly/DnDJ4 #iphone
  • 09:31:21: Ew! LOL RT @qikipedia: Humankind's oldest known soup was hippopotamus flavoured.
  • 10:20:40: See you tonight, @ajpreyes @jime60647 @foubouphx @phxmike @brienbear (and @wild_rumpus?)
  • 10:26:17: Oh wow... RT @tdhurst: Most of us learned nothing from 9/11. Spending one day pretending to care is a mockery.
  • 10:29:40: RT @tdhurst: We all should be unabashedly unashamed to be EXACTLY who we are.
  • 15:00:17: Be honest... How many of you pee on the dry porcelain part of the toilet so it makes less noise??
  • 18:01:10: Want $100.00 off a new DirecTV account?
    Call 1-877-4-100-EACH (1-877-410-0322) and give them account number 26071932 - Michael Parisi.
  • 18:02:37: Off to Chino Bandito & Tootsie with @ajpreyes, @jime60647, @foubouphx, @phxmike, @brienbear, and maybe @wild_rumpus!!
  • 22:00:20: Q: What did the girl with big tits say?
    A: What was the question??


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Saturday, September 12, 2009

From Twitter 09-11-2009



  • 09:04:54: Up before 9am and before my alarm! Feeling great!! Hope it stays this way!!
  • 09:39:13: LOL RT @joerogandotnet: If you have a dick, you're a guy. If you have a dick and a vagina you're a guy with a secret
  • 09:52:27: Anyone goung to #TwestivalPHX tonight?
  • 10:02:25: Anyone wanna come to my apartment complex's free carnival tomorrow 1-4pm?
  • 11:32:32: CBS officially has the best programming, followed by (can't believe I'm about to say it) FOX!! ABC can suck my balls!!
  • 11:36:24: "I beg your pardon?! HOW VERY DARE YOU!!" See what I mean at http://mikeyp.us/oqohc RT @mrpemo: #followFriday important gays @MichaelParisi
  • 11:52:52: Is a #Twestival different from a #TweetUp??
  • 12:05:09: #FollowFriday Two great causes for Marriage Equality! @MarriageForNone and @NOH8campaign Follow and help them trend! #MARRIAGEFORNONE #NOH8
  • 12:51:34: Just watching last night's #BBAfterDark on Showtime. Could their conversations BE any more fake?!?!
  • 15:00:15: My driving test was going well, until he asked me to open the trunk...
  • 16:24:04: Hey @greggysf Thank you for the #FollowFriday!! :-)
  • 18:19:44: FINALLY found a way to feed my FB status updates to Twitter automatically and WITHOUT any FB app! http://mikeyp.us/yqasq
  • 18:32:48: Gonna be another early night... Sad, I know... :-( No #Twestival, no dinner... Just video games, I guess.... <SIGH> hehehehe
  • 18:57:34: Yaay! @MarleeMatlin is officially part of the @NOH8campaign!! Powerful image w/duct-taped wrists! http://mikeyp.us/hedjf
  • 19:19:19: Any feedback on #GuitarHero5? What do you all think of it??
  • 20:32:04: LOVING the Stephen Lynch special on Comedy Central...and pretty darn easy on the eyes too! :-)
  • 21:41:03: Just took my 126th mugshot! http://www.dailymugshot.com/main/show/24652
  • 22:00:16: They say 'feed the world' and 'solve world hunger', but what they fail to realize is that 194 out of 195 countries aren't Hungary!


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Friday, September 11, 2009

Pull your Facebook friends’ status RSS feed!!

Special thanks to Something Creative, Inc. for this information!!

Here’s how to pull (and filter) your Facebook friends’ status RSS feed:

  1. Log in to Facebook, type “notes” into the search box (upper right) and click the Notes drop down button.
  2. On the Notes page, look at the bottom of the right column for “Subscribe to these Notes”. Click the “My Friends’ Notes” link with the little blue RSS icon.
  3. Your screen should change into a standard RSS subscription page with “(YOUR NAME)’s Friends’ Facebook Notes” as the title.
  4. In the address bar, you should see a URL that looks like this:http://www.facebook.com/feeds/friends_notes.php?id=XXXXXXXXX&key=XXXXXXXXXX&format=rss20
  5. In the URL, change “friends_notes.php” to “friends_status.php” and hit enter.
  6. You now should see the RSS subscription page titled “(YOUR NAME)’s Friends’ Facebook Status Updates”.
  7. Go back up to the address bar and copy the URL.
THAT'S IT!! YOU'RE DONE!!! But if you want to filter the feed based on keywords, continue with the steps below:
  1. Now go to www.feedrinse.com, create an account, then start the process by importing (pasting) your RSS feed in the designated field.
  2. Once imported, create a few filters by typing in your money words/phrases.
  3. With your filters set, export your “rinsed” RSS feed and plug it into your favorite RSS reader (like Google Reader).

You now should see only your Facebook friends’ status updates that include your money terms. Quick Tip: If you have an iGoogle customized homepage, you can add a Google Reader “gadget” to your page, which will give you a quick reference to the RSS feeds to which you’ve subscribed.

How to Mine Social Networking Sites for Sales Opportunities


Special thanks to Something Creative, Inc. for this information!!


Originally posted at http://mikeyp.us/ldosh on Facebook.

Preface: If you were to execute the strategies discussed in this post, you could significantly reduce the amount of time spent on each social networking site. But remember that the social media space is built on engagement and interaction. If you aren’t engaging with your community at least once in a while, your community may not be very receptive to your pitch if/when a new sales opportunity is staring you in the face.

Not Enough Hours in a Day

If you’ve been dabbling with social media for a while, you understand the time-consuming nature of the space. For many companies, their commitment to social media has forced them to either add dedicated staff or outsource the effort. But we, as small businesses, don’t typically have the resources to do either of those, so we’re relegated to spending the time ourselves, or we just don’t.

The main thing we all need to realize is that your friends/followers/connections are constantly throwing out sales opportunities. In fact, I’d argue that most status updates or tweets are sales opportunities for someone or some company. Here’s a Twitter screen shot I just pulled straight from my stream to help explain my point (in red)…

Bottom line, sales opportunities are there for those who are listening. But listening takes time and most of us can’t afford to sit there and wait for something relevant to appear. But we’re in luck… There are ways in which we can leverage the built-in technology of these social sites to do the listening for us and deliver those opportunities to our front door.

A Quick Social Media Strategy Lesson

One of the key exercises that I walk businesses through in my social media strategy sessions is to figure out which words or phrases your customers would use in conversation that relate to your product or service. For instance, a chiropractor may want to listen for such phrases as “my back hurts” or “my back is killing me”. I call these “money words” and it’s important to identify your money words/phrases before diving blindly into your social ponds. You can then use these terms within your social media profiles and as filtering mechanisms when working with RSS feeds provided by social networking sites.

What are RSS Feeds?

RSS is the mechanism by which websites make their content available for syndication. In a recent post, I described RSS as the DVR of the web. So then an RSS feed is what makes a website “DVR-enabled”. For example, a blog comes with an RSS feed, which allows people to subscribe and pull the blog’s content into their RSS reader (think DVR menu).

Social networking sites also provide RSS feeds that can be pulled into your RSS reader. Such content as Facebook status updates and Twitter keyword searches can be delivered directly to your reader for review whenever you get around to it. BUT, upon doing this, you’ll notice a lot of noise and irrelevant junk. This is were your “money filters” come into play.

Mine Facebook for Sales Opportunities

Let’s say you have roughly 200 “friends” on Facebook, including old high school and college friends, family, former coworkers and clients. Facebook’s status update functionality (“What’s on your mind?”) gives you a steady smorgasbord of content on your Facebook homepage. If you wanted to, you could pull that RSS feed into your RSS reader and get every update from your Facebook friends, but that would be like your DVR recording hundreds of TV shows everyday. Instead, we want to filter those status updates to deliver only the updates that might be sales opportunities for you.

So how do we find that RSS feed? Well up until a few months ago, it was a simple link on your “Friends” page. But for some reason, Facebook removed this link forcing the tech community to figure out work arounds. So put on your “hacker” hat and let’s go hack into Facebook (its actually simpler than it sounds).

Here’s how to pull and filter your Facebook friends’ status RSS feed:

  1. Log in to Facebook, type “notes” into the search box (upper right) and click the Notes drop down button.
  2. On the Notes page, look at the bottom of the right column for “Subscribe to these Notes”. Click the “My Friends’ Notes” link with the little blue RSS icon.
  3. Your screen should change into a standard RSS subscription page with “(YOUR NAME)’s Friends’ Facebook Notes” as the title.
  4. In the address bar, you should see a URL that looks like this: http://www.facebook.com/feeds/friends_notes.php?id=XXXXXXXXX&key=XXXXXXXXXX&format=rss20
  5. In the URL, change “friends_notes.php” to “friends_status.php” and hit enter.
  6. You now should see the RSS subscription page titled “(YOUR NAME)’s Friends’ Facebook Status Updates”.
  7. Go back up to the address bar and copy the URL.
  8. Now go to www.feedrinse.com, create an account, then start the process by importing (pasting) your RSS feed in the designated field.
  9. Once imported, create a few filters by typing in your money words/phrases.
  10. With your filters set, export your “rinsed” RSS feed and plug it into your favorite RSS reader (Google Reader is my fav).

You now should see only your Facebook friends’ status updates that include your money terms. Quick Tip: If you have an iGoogle customized homepage, you can add a Google Reader “gadget” to your page, which will give you a quick reference to the RSS feeds to which you’ve subscribed.

Mining Twitter

Fortunately, Twitter makes things a lot easier. Their advanced search functionality allows you to do searches for each of your money terms and returns tweets that match your query. When I’ve shown this function to people who just “don’t get Twitter”, this is typically when the light bulb turns on. If your search results seem to be relevant sales opportunities, then you can pull the RSS feeds of those search queries into your RSS reader. Here’s how:

  1. Go to http://search.twitter.com/advanced
  2. Type in one of your money words/phrases. Also note that you have the ability to narrow your search with many other filtering tools on that page. One in particular is the “places” filter. If your market is local, you might want to plug in a zip code or city, which will then only pull tweets from people in that geographic area.
  3. On the search results page, click the “Feed for this query” in the upper right.
  4. Copy the feed URL in the address bar and plug that into your RSS reader.
  5. Then go back to Twitter search and plug in your next term. Rinse and repeat.

Pro Tip: For you tech-savvy individuals with many networks, products and services, you might want to consider Yahoo Pipes for more robust consolidation and filtering tools.

The Social Sales Approach – the Hard Sell or the Soft Touch?

If you’ve managed to get through this marathon of a post, you should now have potential sales opportunities sitting there staring at you. Time to go in for the hard sell? Absolutely not. One key thing you HAVE TO REMEMBER is that these people are not expressing their needs or desires with the intent of being sold to. Quite the contrary. They don’t want to be sold to and more likely are just venting, making small talk or trying to spark conversation.

But if you are strategic in your approach, you can start to plant a seed with a well-timed, soft touch that could come in many forms. It could be as simple as starting to follow them on Twitter and having a helpful article positioned as your latest tweet. Or you might post a genuine comment on one of their recent status updates or family photos. Often times these timely tidbits are the soft touches that get you on their radar or prompt them to click on your profile to find out what you do professionally.

Bottom line…When you genuinely engage with prospects and become a valuable resource for them, you’ll have a much better chance of capitalizing on those sales opportunities, a.k.a. being at the right place at the right time.

Thanks for reading this post. If you would like help setting up your social profiles, RSS filtering mechanisms or your social media strategy in general, we’re here to help.

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From Twitter 09-10-2009



  • 14:01:17: REALLY bad movie! A character lost their dentures and is on HANDS & KNEES looking for them? Wouldn't they be easy to find?! That's Showtime!
  • 15:00:14: I'm so broke right now that all I can afford to eat are the herbs my friend loaned me. I'm living on borrowed thyme!
  • 15:22:30: Beowulf's animation is creeeeepy!!
  • 16:55:01: Is anyone encountering a problem accessing my shortened links? Where does http://mikeyp.us/site take u? Which browser(s) give you problems??
  • 17:05:55: Ignore that last example. Bad test... Where does THIS one take you?? http://mikeyp.us/aluri Is it the same as http://go.mikeyp.us/aluri ??
  • 17:09:41: Re: http://twitter.com/MichaelParisi/status/3899687862 If you reach my home page on this new link, that's an error... :-(
  • 17:16:12: If u had trouble w/any MikeyP links, clear cache & retry, or add "go." (don't forget the dot) b4 the "mikeyp". Future links should be fixed.
  • 17:23:05: OMG An *actual* blue man!! Living Smurf?? http://mikeyp.us/kuysm
  • 17:31:18: That shower felt sooo good! Shortened Links fixed...now it's time for dinner.... Hello, @PizzaHut?? Oops, sorry... "The Hut"!!! LOL
  • 17:57:51: Hey @PizzaHut, why does your website see my nearest store but your iHut iPhone App doesn't?! :-(
  • 18:22:38: "A noise annoys an oyster, but a noisy noise annoys an oyster more!" WHEW!!!!
  • 18:24:11: Hahaha!! RT @AliAdler: RT @jordanrubin: My friend says he'll go home with any girl with a heartbeat. I don't have a specific type like that.
  • 18:27:26: Ever since I saw that 2% of my tweets are "Golden" (meaning EXACTLY 140 char), I now go out of my way 2 do it each time! Just like this one!
  • 18:30:04: Pizza's here!! Wow that was quick!!
  • 19:43:39: Did the World Trade Center episode of #Fringe really have to air the day before the anniversary of 9/11?!?!
  • 20:54:39: I love that @soulboykirk gave me a hashtag!! RT @soulboykirk: (to me) oh my ...u may be close to perfect ...Hmm #payattentiontomichaelparisi
  • 22:00:17: Why do women always want to hug, talk, and cuddle after sex? I just like to slam the trunk closed and push the car into the river...
  • 22:01:15: RT @kamscottxxx: You can polish a turd but it's still a piece of shit
  • 22:07:28: ROFL!!! RT @NiaVardalos: Yes, if that's your hoagie lifting arm. RT @FruitSaladShow: can one moob be bigger than the other?
  • 22:51:21: Yaay! Finally in bed before 11!! :-D Good night, everyone!!


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