From Twitter 02-27-2010

• 01:07:16: .@PhoenixCub is so charming....in that 'truck stop' kind of way...
  
• 01:40:32: ROFL!! @PhoenixCub just told me he only plays Craps because he can bet on Hard 6s and Hard 8s!! :-o
  
• 03:56:13: I just became the mayor of Jack in the Box on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/bRxEoT
  
• 08:02:06: I've never understood the decimal system. I just don't see the point!
  
• 15:03:05: The other day, I saw a dyslexic outside a mosque in a lion costume. He converted to Aslan.
  
• 18:02:16: $100.00 off new DirecTV acct 4 BOTH of us! Call 877-4-100-EACH & give them acct number 26071932 (Michael Parisi).
  
• 21:38:27: Does anyone know if @foursquare mayorships are temporary??
  
• 22:02:06: Q: What does a whore and the Bermuda Triangle have in common?
  A: They've both swallowed a lot of seamen!
  

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From Twitter 02-26-2010

• 01:07:11: At @BallysLasVegas with @PhoenixCub for birthday boobie at "Jubilee!". Yaaaay for "Boobs on Steps"!!
  
• 07:29:01: I just became the mayor of Flamingo Ambassador Suite on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/9EB8YT
  
• 07:29:48: I'm platinum!! Woo hoooooo!!!
  
• 08:02:09: Be honest! How many of you slowly back away from the toilet while peeing just to test your firepower and accuracy?!
  
• 14:08:23: I'm at Carnival World Buffet - Rio (3700 W Flamingo Rd, Las Vegas). http://4sq.com/6vJ8lU
  
• 15:04:04: I taught a sex ed class today at school. No one realized I was just the janitor!
  
• 22:01:08: Q: What's the most popular pick-up line in a gay bar?
  A: "May I push in your stool?"
  

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From Twitter 02-25-2010

• 01:49:23: I'm at Hoover Dam (Highway 93, Nevada and Arizona, Boulder City). http://4sq.com/7z7xT0
  
• 02:04:53: We're almost there to check in, @FlamingoVegas. Please be kind to us... :-)
  
• 02:19:55: I'm at The Las Vegas Strip (3601 Las Vegas Blvd. South, East Flamingo Rd., Las Vegas). http://4sq.com/ciRgpz
  
• 03:41:21: I'm at Flamingo w/ @phoenixcub. http://4sq.com/Gepsi
  
• 04:19:40: OMG!! I don't know what @PhoenixCub and I did right, but here's our AMBASSADOR SUITE!! Thank you, @FlamingoVegas!! http://twitvid.com/17AC4
  
• 08:02:06: Modesty is just one of my many, many great attributes!
  
• 15:03:10: I'm over 100 days sober now... Well, not in a row, of course!
  
• 18:26:33: I'm kinda enjoying that I have full AT&T 3G while @PhoenixCub's new T-Mobile Android has nothing...especially after he bragged about it!!
  
• 19:44:27: How did the buffet know which table marker to use for us?!?! @PhoenixCub http://twitpic.com/15cvuj
  
• 22:04:13: Q: How do you find a blind guy at a nudist colony?
  A: It's not hard.
  

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From Twitter 02-24-2010

• 04:26:33: I just became the mayor of Harvest Buffet on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/b3i5Ph
  
• 08:01:18: The best thing about Internet Explorer is that you can use it to download Google Chrome!
  
• 15:04:08: Q: What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
  A: Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.
  
• 22:02:12: Q: What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery guy have in common?
  A: They can smell it but they can't eat it.
  

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From Twitter 02-23-2010

• 01:43:36: RT @SDHryRedHd: @MichaelParisi's Village People Party. Work it! http://twitvid.com/FE413
  
• 01:59:46: FYI, I encourage RTs!! :-)
  
• 08:01:09: Q: What do Michael Jackson & a grocery bag have in common?
  A: Both are made of plastic & unsafe for kids to play with.
  
• 15:01:14: Q: Which came first: The chicken or the egg?
  A: Neither. The rooster came first.
  
• 22:03:11: Q: What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
  A: Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
  

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From Twitter 02-22-2010

• 08:01:09: Q: Why was Michael Jackson excited when he first heard about Boyz II Men?
  A: He thought it was a home delivery service.
  
• 15:01:28: Q: What's the difference between worry and panic?
  A: About 28 days.
  
• 22:02:09: Q: What do you call the useless piece of skin around a vagina?
  A: A woman.
  
• 22:09:32: Twenty minutes in line at McDonald's is fucking ridiculous!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRR!!!!!
  

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From Twitter 02-21-2010

• 02:24:25: I'm at Harrah's Rincon Casino w/ @phoenixcub. http://4sq.com/69F876
  
• 08:01:07: Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in the United States?
  A: God couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.
  
• 15:04:15: Q: What two things in the air can get a woman pregnant?
  A: Her legs.
  
• 22:01:08: Q: What's the difference between a slut and a bitch?
  A: A slut will fuck anyone. A bitch will fuck anyone but you!!
  

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From Twitter 02-20-2010

• 02:29:22: What is it with cats and luggage?!?!
  
• 08:01:09: Q: Why are brides dressed in white?
  A: So they match the rest of the appliances.
  
• 11:46:29: I'm at Yuma Territorial Prison State Historic Park (1 N Prison Rd, Yuma). http://4sq.com/bey81n
  
• 12:01:03: I'm at CALIFORNIA BABY!!!!. http://4sq.com/ceVxq8
  
• 12:56:17: Negative elevation... I'm a little freaked out to be below sea level!! :-P (@ El Centro, CA) http://4sq.com/bY72Tr
  
• 13:45:34: Sand-duney desert. Very cool!! http://twitpic.com/14dsx4
  
• 15:02:10: Q: What do you call a woman with no asshole?
  A: Divorced.
  
• 15:54:23: Let's play Words With Friends on the iPhone! My username is 'MichaelParisi'. http://bit.ly/2qbpQ
  
• 16:18:43: I'm at Brians' American Eatery w/ @sdhryredhd @phoenixcub. http://4sq.com/78bklc
  
• 17:18:27: I'm at Pinkberry - Hillcrest (3795 4th Ave, at Robinson Ave, San Diego). http://4sq.com/5lzvtH
  
• 21:53:19: Freakin' love this place!! :-) (@ El Indio Mexican Restaurant w/ @sdhryredhd @phoenixcub) http://4sq.com/8ncLOI
  
• 22:03:05: Q: What's the best thing about a blow job?
  A: Ten minutes of silence!
  

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From Twitter 02-19-2010

• 00:12:38: I'm at IcePics (3108 E McDowell Rd, 31St St & McDowell Rd, Phoenix) w/ 2 others. http://4sq.com/3juYJK
  
• 00:21:56: RT @PhoenixCub: Survivor night has become Grindr night with @MichaelParisi at some twinky bar in East Phoenix. Hmm, still feels like He ...
  
• 00:23:50: RT@PhoenixCub Survivor night became Grindr night w/@MichaelParisi at some twinky bar in E Phoenix. Hmm, still feels like Heroes vs Villains.
  
• 02:40:20: Wanna sleep, but waiting 4 the 1st load of laundry 2 dry so I can dry the 2nd load w/ my work clothes that I need for the morning... Grrrr!
  
• 02:58:04: RT @SoCalMo75: Clear this up for me: A man's sex noises should or shouldn't sound like a southern belle with the vapors? (via @SarahKSi ...
  
• 08:06:05: Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
  A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
  
• 12:11:08: FUCK!!! Just washed & dried 2 pens AND a Sharpie with my clothes! Oh, my BLACK work clothes are fine, but all my own clothes are ruined!!!
  
• 15:03:09: Q: Why are men are like public toilets?
  A: All the good ones are taken, and the rest are full of shit.
  
• 22:02:06: Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job?
  A: After 5 years, your job still sucks.
  
• 23:06:16: My week: Pulled over 3 times for headlights.
  @PhoenixCub's week: Won $4,040 at Harrah's on a game I always lose!
  What have I done wrong?!
  

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From Twitter 02-18-2010

• 08:01:15: Q: What's the difference between a woman on her period and a terrorist?
  A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
  
• 15:02:11: Q: Why do women close their eyes during sex?
  A: They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.
  
• 21:06:53: #Survivor night at @PhoenixCub's place in HD!! Woo hooooo!!!
  
• 22:02:07: Q: Why should hurricanes be named after women?
  A: They start wet, but when they go they take ur house & car w/ them.
  

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From Twitter 02-17-2010

• 08:12:05: Q: What do train sets & breasts have in common?
  A: They were intended for kids but it's men who play with them most.
  
• 15:02:16: Q: What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?
  A: A woman who won't do what she's told.
  
• 18:02:06: Let me refer u to ING Direct for a new acct. U get a $25 bonus, I get $10! FREE MONEY!! Contact me for info.
  
• 22:02:10: Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
  A: The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
  

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From Twitter 02-16-2010

• 08:03:19: I went to an audition the other day. They were casting 13 people to be clouds, but 14 showed up. It was overcast.
  
• 15:02:27: I just ended a long-term relationship today, but I’m not too bothered. It wasn’t mine.
  
• 16:57:09: WTF?!?! Oh well....don't ask questions, just enjoy the view!! http://mikeyp.us/zojfi
  
• 22:02:33: U know your boyfriend is too young for u when u have to make airplane noises to get him to put your cock in his mouth!
  
• 22:50:09: Mmmmmmmm... Malt!! (@ Culver's) http://4sq.com/8HqmMd
  
• 23:34:16: I'm at Harrah's Ak-Chin Casino w/ @phoenixcub. http://4sq.com/6CA8I4
  

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From Twitter 02-15-2010

• 08:04:14: I tried to give blood the other day, but the Red Cross wouldn’t take it. They wanted to know where I got it from.
  
• 15:02:05: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
  
• 22:02:05: For me, golf is a lot like a woman. If she isn’t holding my wood, she should be holding an iron.
  
• 22:56:40: Kali Ma... Kali Ma... KALI MA, DACTA JONES!!!!!!
  

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From Twitter 02-14-2010

• 06:14:49: Having my warm milk before bed... (Does it still work with decaf espresso shots in it?!?!)
  
• 08:02:04: Why are people so intolerant of intolerance?
  
• 15:02:04: Just realized that I'm missing the Rodeo! :-( There's always next year or another city, but I really wanted to go! Should've gone yesterday!
  
• 15:02:52: I refuse to see "Valentine's Day" on Valentines Day!!
  
• 15:03:06: Q: How can you tell if a Valentine's card is from a leper?
  A: His tongue is still in the envelope.
  
• 21:43:50: I just unlocked the "Superstar" badge on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/b1r8tK
  
• 21:43:50: I'm at Carl's Jr w/ @phoenixcub. http://4sq.com/dtK1WM
  
• 22:01:15: Last night, me and two friends raped a math teacher. That showed the bitch – three DOES go into one!
  

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From Twitter 02-13-2010

• 00:15:53: Vee Quiva is GHETTO w/ trashy clientele! But at least I could see the air! Nothing's worse than being unsure if I'm entering a vaccuum!!
  
• 08:03:09: Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll go out and buy a funny hat.
  
• 15:02:19: Had an argument with my boyfriend. He said there's a lack of communication in our relationship...or something like that...
  
• 18:03:05: $100.00 off new DirecTV acct 4 BOTH of us! Call 877-4-100-EACH & give them acct number 26071932 (Michael Parisi).
  
• 22:02:04: Shit!! I sat through that whole damn movie!! Why didn't anyone warn me that "Free Willy" was about a whale?!?!
  
• 22:05:33: I'm at Culver's w/ @ajpreyes. http://4sq.com/8HqmMd
  

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From Twitter 02-12-2010

• 08:04:08: I woke up this morning and my joints were really stiff. But I only have myself to blame – I rolled them way too thick!
  
• 15:03:27: I learned a lot from my last breakup. For example, did you know that they won't sell you a gun if you're crying?!
  
• 18:10:23: Stopped by and found out the cutie's name!! :-) (@ Chipotle - Goodyear) http://4sq.com/5SIPIe
  
• 18:28:08: Soooo excited about the info @StarbucksTink is getting for me!! :-)
  
• 20:58:24: With @PhoenixCub at Target, where apparently he needs T P for his bunghole!
  
• 21:28:24: I'm at The Yard House (Glendale). http://4sq.com/bC0L8b
  
• 22:01:08: I’ve been trying anal with my boyfriend and I’m a bit unsure about it. I’m just finding it hard to get into.
  
• 23:23:03: Wish me luck!! :-/ (@ Gila River Vee Quiva Casino) http://4sq.com/9VXljH
  

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From Twitter 02-11-2010

• 00:52:49: Wow... Betty White tasering Attila the Hun for a #Survivor commercial!! ROFL #S20 http://twitpic.com/12jsdl http://twitpic.com/12jsdi
  
• 00:53:00: My fortune cookies tonight from @PeiWei are really trying to tell me something!! http://twitpic.com/12jsis
  
• 01:48:43: RT @Twitter_Tips: Google Buzz: Privacy nightmare [CNET] http://j.mp/bJoR0l
  
• 01:48:57: RT @swampy52: Ever had the feeling you're being followed. Twitter does that to ya.
  
• 08:03:12: I went to Blockbuster last night and asked to rent Batman Forever. They told me I'd have to bring it back.
  
• 12:50:41: OMG OMG OMG!!! Only 6 hours & 10 minutes until the premiere of #Survivor: Heroes vs Villains!! That's only 370 minutes!! WOO HOOOOO!!! #S20
  
• 16:08:30: Catholics spend time at Mass singing stupid songs and loudly chanting. So mass really does equal density times volume!
  
• 16:08:33: Q2F0aG9saWNzIHNwZW5kIHRpbWUgYXQgTWFzcyBzaW5naW5nIHN0dXBpZCBzb25ncyBhbmQgbG91
  ZGx5IGNoYW50aW5nLiBTbyBtYXNzIHJlYWxseSBkb2VzIGVxdWFsIGRlbnNpdH
  
• 16:54:45: I just unlocked the "Bender" badge on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/alfQBo
  
• 19:29:43: ........but Doggie Style is BOTH!! :-D http://twitpic.com/12p1tt
  
• 22:01:26: Q: What's the difference between a straight man and a microwave?
  A: A microwave won't fight u when u put your meat in.
  
• 23:20:09: I just became the mayor of Oasis Lounge on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/anjOjk
  
• 23:20:46: GRRRRRRR!!!!! :-( (@ Harrah's Ak-Chin Casino) http://4sq.com/6CA8I4
  

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From Twitter 02-10-2010

• 01:59:03: Attention: The little one finally has a name! She's Nala Marie (the middle name is my Mom's in her memory). Follow her at @LittleNalaKitty.
  
• 02:02:12: Why is it that BOTH my cats, @BayleeDutchess and @LittleNalaKitty, like chai tea?! Is this normal?!?!
  
• 02:13:44: WTF?!?! @BayleeDutchess *STILL* stands up to pee!! What's wrong with her?!?!
  
• 02:18:50: Today's shift is my Starbucks Barista Certification testing!! Wish me luck!! :-D
  
• 02:19:57: RT @hafidz_ariff: It's technically one day to survivor heroes versus villains! *jizz*
  
• 02:20:55: RT @tysonapostol: Fun fact... on some phone's predictive text, 'cock' and 'anal' are the same keys... I've heard.
  
• 04:06:02: Am I missing something?! How is #GoogleBuzz any better than Google's #Orkut and/or any different from #GoogleLatitude??
  
• 07:35:17: Ad: Such a great mobile experience on the LG Chocolate Touch! Meets all your music, social, & communication needs! http://bit.ly/ampdtg
  
• 08:06:09: Two terrorists steered a boat directly into Hoover Dam. A police spokesman says it's just the beginning of Ram A Dam.
  
• 11:21:39: At work for my Barista Certification Testing (@ Starbucks)
  
• 11:25:55: It's official... I'm having serious Disneyland withdrawal symptoms!! :-/
  
• 15:04:04: I suffer from CDO. It’s like OCD but the letters are in order, as they should be.
  
• 15:05:00: Well....I did it!! And most importantly, I got a pin!! LOL http://twitpic.com/12grm3
  
• 18:10:45: Other than friends I know in real life & @rosamc1, @coachbear, @SDCanadian and a dozen or so others, I should drastically cut down my list!!
  
• 18:11:39: (cont) ...but I'm not gonna cut @BayleeDutchess or @LittleNalaKitty either!! LOL
  
• 20:30:21: I'm at Pei Wei Asian Diner (1619 N Dysart Rd, Avondale). http://4sq.com/4qzpKj
  
• 22:01:15: Abortion brings out the kid in you!
  

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From Twitter 02-09-2010

• 08:04:03: My bank told me that there are payments on my account that are outstanding. That was nice of them!
  
• 15:03:06: Don’t do anything you are not prepared to explain to a paramedic!
  
• 18:13:44: RT @citizenkurt: "Who are you calling a cootie queen you lint licker?"
  
• 20:37:53: I just ousted @mathyou124 as the mayor of Chipotle - Goodyear on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/5SIPIe
  
• 20:37:53: The cute guy's not working tonight, so I'll eat at McD's instead!! :-) (@ Chipotle - Goodyear) http://4sq.com/5SIPIe
  
• 20:38:36: Sweet & Sour back in stock! Woo hooooo!! :-) (@ Mcdonalds Goodyear) http://4sq.com/dm8qFg
  
• 20:44:03: Did I like dummy another to it send, moron a like this read to trying time sweet your took you since?
  
• 22:01:10: I was in prison last month playing Scrabble and almost got shanked. Just missing the K though...
  

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From Twitter 02-08-2010

• 08:01:15: Why do banks only lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it?
  
• 14:35:33: Ad: Why the heck was THIS commercial banned?! Great vacation rentals at http://bit.ly/cRnT1H
  
• 15:01:15: I just got back from the doctor. He says my habit of eating sand and clay could be fatal. Now I'm shitting bricks!
  
• 16:23:24: FINALLY a haircut!!! (@ Sport Clips) http://4sq.com/9Tx9LJ
  
• 17:03:40: I admit I eat here because of the hottie who works there!! (@ Chipotle - Goodyear) http://4sq.com/5SIPIe
  
• 22:02:14: I like my women like I like my internet porn blocker. Disabled.
  
• 23:38:16: In bed (@ Home)
  

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From Twitter 02-07-2010

• 08:03:06: Sexual harrassment is a really touchy subject.
  
• 10:06:26: Ad: Take a one-week walkabout in Australia! Qantas flights from LAX/SFO cost about the same as a European flight!! http://bit.ly/c8YdZw
  
• 15:03:07: Just when you think your dipshit son can't disappoint you anymore, he misspells ‘worthless’ on his suicide note! Sheesh!
  
• 22:01:14: My boyfriend wants to have sex while we're covered in unrefined oil. I think that's a bit crude!
  

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From Twitter 02-06-2010

• 00:53:54: In bed (@ Home)
  
• 08:01:32: Next time someone leaves their iMac unattended, take a marker and write "unt" next to the logo!
  
• 15:03:37: I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me.
  
• 17:43:56: Uuuuugh... I have heartburn so bad that it's almost making myle vomit!! :-(
  
• 19:35:26: I'm at Chick-fil-A (1466 N Dysart Rd, Goodyear). http://4sq.com/4uzn0z
  
• 19:36:05: I just became the mayor of Starbucks - Litchfield Rd & McDowell on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/cjUwDs
  
• 19:36:05: I'm at Starbucks - Litchfield Rd & McDowell (1375 N Lichfield Rd, McDowell, Goodyear). http://4sq.com/cjUwDs
  
• 22:01:14: I used to go out with a nymphomaniac impressionist... He did everybody!
  

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From Twitter 02-05-2010

• 03:56:25: I just unlocked the "School Night" badge on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/du0ZsR
  
• 04:03:12: I'm at Jack in the Box w/ @phoenixcub. http://4sq.com/9hfRcI
  
• 04:15:23: Watching the Survivor special on CBS (@ Ron's Place) http://4sq.com/cdtaN6
  
• 08:01:27: My Christmas tree ornaments are suicidal. They hang themselves.
  
• 10:01:08: Ad: Enter the 'I Do Times Two' wedding contest. Two couples can win weddings at the Hilton Waikoloa Village. http://bit.ly/9uRF7v
  
• 13:10:29: Ad: Check out the Crispy Crust Pizzas from #TonysPizza!! YUMMY!!! http://bit.ly/cCVZgI
  
• 15:02:12: Beware of all the 'coin-toss' schemes going around right now. Just wanted to give you a heads up!
  
• 22:01:15: Q: What do a hot ass and a 9V battery have in common?
  A: You know you shouldn't, but you just can't resist licking it!
  
• 22:46:51: Dream during an accidental nap: Went to Niagara Falls Water Park but they couldn't turn the falls on. It backed up & flooded the roads.
  
• 22:50:01: I'm at In-n-Out Burger (1525 N Dysart Rd, I-10 & Dysart Rd, Avondale). http://4sq.com/dd6UJA
  
• 22:50:37: I'm at Starbucks - Litchfield Rd & McDowell (1375 N Lichfield Rd, McDowell, Goodyear). http://4sq.com/cjUwDs
  
• 23:04:28: Was there a new Fringe on FOX last night?! My TiVo shows no trace of that show...
  

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From Twitter 02-04-2010

• 01:56:02: In bed (@ Home)
  
• 08:04:08: Cleavage is the only thing you can look down on and approve of at the same time.
  
• 14:25:58: Ad: Check out the new LG Chocolate TOUCH with its Dolby Mobile sound system, FM tuner, & a virtual keyboard and drums. http://bit.ly/dfu6Rf
  
• 15:02:21: Q: What’s long and hard and makes women groan?
  A: An ironing board.
  
• 19:42:40: I just unlocked the "Explorer" badge on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/c9lNgU
  
• 19:42:40: I'm at Pei Wei Asian Diner (7131 W Ray Rd, at 54th St, Chandler). http://4sq.com/afL63N
  
• 21:12:50: I just unlocked the "Local" badge on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/ba8tvi
  
• 22:01:11: Note to self: Make sure on a first date both of us understand each other’s idea of “eating out”.
  
• 22:41:23: I had $20 up to $640, but cashing out with $500.00 (a $480.00 win) is pretty fucking awesome!!!!!! :-D http://twitpic.com/11g6nj
  

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From Twitter 02-03-2010

• 02:22:44: Me with my free Snuggie from @Harrahs_AkChin. A much less scary photo of me than @PhoenixCub posted! LOL http://twitpic.com/115ghz
  
• 08:06:05: Being a transvestite really takes balls!
  
• 11:28:16: At work (@ Starbucks)
  
• 15:02:05: Q: How many LAPD officers does it take to push a black man down the stairs?
  A: None. He fell.
  
• 18:02:10: Let me refer u to ING Direct for a new acct. U get a $25 bonus, I get $10! FREE MONEY!! Contact me for info.
  
• 22:01:10: My least favorite sex position is the 'Taylor Swift'. You do it standing up, but you don't get to finish...
  

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From Twitter 02-02-2010

• 08:01:19: My rice cooker stopped working last night. Lazy bitch!
  
• 15:02:19: Do you think dogs try to spice up their sex lives by doing it “people style”?
  
• 20:30:23: Off work...finally time to watch "Lost"!! (Complete social media blackout for me until I'm done with the episode!!)
  
• 22:01:07: Always remember that if you say “Ifyouwantsexsaywhat” really fast, & she responds with “what?”, that counts as consent!
  

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From Twitter 02-01-2010

• 08:08:06: Remember kids: If life gives you melons…you’re dyslexic.
  
• 15:02:08: I've been feeling randy all day... I just hope he doesn't tell anyone!
  
• 18:39:52: So I just sliced open 4 fingers on pipe threading during a plumbing project!! Each had about 6 long, fine slices like paper cuts... Joy!
  
• 21:58:11: I'm at Red Robin Gourmet Burgers w/ @phoenixcub. http://4sq.com/aZeWIU
  
• 22:01:10: Ever notice that when you're drunk, you’re always horny and hungry? That’s why I always keep donuts around!
  
• 22:13:40: LOL!!! RT @eagene @joninatl "What can a PC owner do that an Apple owner cannot do? A: Shut the Hell up" ROFL! /via @BrienBear
  
• 23:03:21: I'm at Harrah's Ak-Chin Casino w/ @phoenixcub. http://4sq.com/6CA8I4
  

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From Twitter 01-31-2010

• 00:59:10: Holy shit!! I have to work in 6 hours!! :-( (@ Tucson, AZ) http://4sq.com/aoc7W5
  
• 07:21:43: Only 2 hours sleep after returning from Tucson... (@ Starbucks ! At work -- EXHAUSTED!)
  
• 08:01:07: The best way to stop racism in professional sports would be to stop ethnic people from playing it.
  
• 15:01:11: I’m sweating like Caster Semenya in a game of strip poker!
  
• 22:01:11: The FDA approved a new generic for Viagra today. It's called Mycoxafloppin.
  

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