- 08:02:09: Bulimics are just anorexics who support the economy.
- 12:05:17: #FollowFriday Two great causes for Marriage Equality! @MarriageForNone and @NOH8campaign Follow and help them trend! #MARRIAGEFORNONE #NOH8
- 15:01:45: I like my women like I like my dinner. In the kitchen!
- 22:01:38: Having the cold or flu is the only time a guy can keep tissues by his bed without people getting suspicious.
- 23:50:08: Just took my 193rd mugshot! http://www.dailymugshot.com/main/show/24652
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