- 01:24:41: I wanted to see 2012. I saw 2012. Still not quite sure how I feel about 2012...
- 08:01:11: Q: How do you make your dishwasher sweep the floor?
A: Put a broom in the bitches hand! - 14:11:34: Proofreading FAIL!! That 8am post should be "bitch's", not "bitches". Possessive, not plural. My bad!!!
- 15:01:04: Last week I exposed myself while on vacation in Tokyo. Never again though! It was just a flash in Japan.
- 22:01:34: I call my Asian girlfriend 'Panda'. It's not a racial slur...it's that she's usually walking around with 2 black eyes.
- 23:50:09: Just took my 191st mugshot! http://www.dailymugshot.com/main/show/24652
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