- 00:15:41: Really?! No Taylor Swift interruption sketches on SNL?!?! I feel cheated!! Yo SNL: Give the people what they expect!!
- 08:02:30: I hate writing reports on industrial adhesives. I always get stuck!
- 15:01:23: Remember to always steal enough money to hire a lawyer to prove you are innocent!!
- 17:25:37: So cute!!! My cat @BayleeDutchess has now learned to drop the ball into my hand when plating fetch!! :-D
- 22:01:12: Q: Why don't witches wear panties?
A: More grip on the broomstick!! - 23:50:08: Just took my 181st mugshot! http://www.dailymugshot.com/main/show/24652
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