- 08:01:31: I'll tell you whats not good news. Bad news!
- 15:01:11: Aphrodite – Goddess of Love. Hermaphrodite – Goddess of Sprinters.
- 17:37:27: Laugh at me all you want, but Crocs feel reeeeeaaaaally good after standing all day!!
- 21:51:08: Rape pun coming in 10 minutes. You've been warned!
- 22:01:20: If I put dried fruit inside my girlfriend, is that date rape?
- 23:50:08: Just took my 171st mugshot! http://www.dailymugshot.com/main/show/24652
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