- 03:31:23: WTF?! Local cosmetic dentist offering a senior special. Any work a senior has done is guaranteed 4 life! How morbid!
- 08:15:53: There cannot be a crisis today...my schedule is already full.
- 15:00:59: Do chickens think rubber humans are funny??
- 22:00:20: A woman walks into a fancy cocktail bar and asks the bartender for a "Double Entendre". So he gave her one!
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