- 08:00:27: Purity rings are only good for prolonging the time before you have to admit that you're actually gay!
- 15:00:22: Why do Allstate Insurance ads say that it's "not available in all states"??
- 18:01:15: $100.00 off new DirecTV acct 4 BOTH of us! Call 877-4-100-EACH & give them acct number 26071932 (Michael Parisi).
- 22:00:24: If a dead person springs back to life, do they get a refund on the coffin??
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